Tasuki's 'Girlfriend'
by shelbyyvonne
Summary: Ch5; Ah! Is this the end of their charade? 'He turned to look at Tasuki, who went wide eyed and slowly mouthed the word NO. The purple haired seishi turned back to face the confused woman. 'That's right. HE. I don't think you knew this, but...' ON HIATUS.
1. Genrou 'n' Kouji

Ok, here is the new story that I listed on my profile..

Warnings: (I know I said this already but I will say it again!) Tasuki and Nuriko are in it and THEY ARE DAMN HOT (-Not to mention Chichiri and Kouji -)..but since Tasuki is in it I have to rate it PG13 because he says 'bad words'...blah blah blah...

(-You find a note sitting on the table. You walk over to read it. It says, "Went to McDonalds. If you will all look to the left you will see the automated robot that I created to say my disclaimers for me. And what are you all doing in my house anyway?" You all look to the left. A freaky robot comes out of the shadows and says in a robotic voice, of course "Shelby does not own Fushigi Yuugi or any characters portaining to the show."-)Yeah, I'm not very funny when it comes to disclaimers, especially when I'm bored...

Also, my ideas for fanfictions are my ideas, I don't copy. Although sometimes other fanfics influence my ideas. So don't think I copied off of the fanfiction, **The Favor **(-I think that's what it's called-) because I admit that fanfic gave me some ideas, but they are my own. By the way, **The Favor** is a really good fanfic

On to the story!

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"Eh, Chichiri?" Tasuki asked, twiddling his thumbs a bit.

"Hai no da?"

" Member when ya did that spell so that Tamahome an' Miaka could talk ta eachother even though Tamahome was with that yellow-haired girl?"

"Hai no da."

"Well, I was wonderin...could ya do that spell so I could talk ta my mom an' dad?"

"Hai no da.:

"Is that all ya c'n say? I come ta ya askin' fer yer help an' all you c'n say is 'Hai no da'?"

"Hai no da." Chichiri smiled and got up from his meditative position. "I mean, no no da."

Tasuki shot his fists in the air and smiled, "Alright!"

"Why do you want to talk to your parents anyway? Didn't you run away on purpose no da?"

Tasuki twiddled his thumbs again,"Well, yeah, but I just feel a little bad about it now, 'cuz I think they loved me at least a little, after all, I am their son, so I'm gonna pay a little visit to them, if they approve."

Chichiri nodded his head in agreement, "Let's go then. We need a quiet room with at least one empty wall no da. And there can't be anything in the room to distract either of us no da. Do you know where one is? The one Miaka used was her room, and I don't think she would appreciate if we used it no da..."

Now Tasuki nodded his head, "Can it be at Mt. Reikaku? 'Cuz there's a few rooms there that ain't occupied er whatever." (-I don't know if I spelled Reikaku right-)

Again, Chichiri nodded his head, "It can be anywhere as long as it's in a quiet room with no distractions and blank walls no da."

So the duo headed to Mt. Reikaku, not knowing they had a certain navy-haired follower.

-----------------At Mt. Reikaku

Chichiri followed Tasuki up the steep mountain, untill they stopped at the doorway.

"Eh, Chiri?"

"Hai no da?"

Tasuki growled, "Why did we walk all tha way here when we could've just teleported?"

Chichiri put his finger to his chin then scratched his head, "I don't know. Let's just say it gave us exercise no da."

Tasuki shrugged his shoulders then said, "Works fer me, I guess." He then proceeded to knock on the door exactly three times and shouted, "It's Genrou."

There was another heavily accented voice on the other side of the door. "Knock knock. Who's there? It's Genrou. Oh, tha Genrou that hasn't come ta visit his own gang fer almost 10 months now? Yep, that would be him. Ah, well, I guess we should let him in, don't ya think? I think it'd be ok." Chichiri looked at Tasuki with pure confusion, although Tasuki was beaming at the door. The door slammed open and, from the looks of it, almost broke off.

"Genrou!"

"Kouji!"

The two bandits linked arms and started hopping around in a circle, one foot at a time. Chichiri blushed, embarrassed for his friend, and hid his face. He had never seen this dance before, but heard of it from Miaka a long time ago.

Some time later, after alot of talking, laughing, and sake, Chichiri finally got Tasuki to let Kouji know the real reason they had come. "Actually, eh, we came to see if you would let us borrow a room fer a night. We would use one o' tha ones at tha palace but it's too loud..." The bandit had mumbled.

"Wow, Genrou, I knew ya didn't like girls but I never knew ya were like _tha­_-"

"IT'S NOT LIKE THAT YOU DAMN BAKA!" Tasuki's face was bright red and you could tell he was pissed off, because Kouji was hiding behind his chair. "YOU KNOW I _LIKE_ GIRLS!" He calmed down a little bit, then murmured, "Yer lucky that yer my friend, otherwise I'd have fried tha shit-"

Chichiri cut him off, "We need the room so that I can preform a spell to allow Tasuki to talk with his parents no da."

"Who'er ya?" A confused Kouji asked him. When he didn't get an answer right away, he turned to his friend. "Who's this guy again?" He asked, jabbing his thumb in Chichiri's direction, "I don't think we were introduced."

"Oh yeah. Kouji, Chichiri. Chichiri, Kouji. Chichiri's my friend, he's one o' tha other Suzaku Seven. He's here ta do some spell thingy ta let me talk ta my mom an' dad, an' like I said earlier, we would use one o' tha rooms at tha palace but it's too loud there. We need a quiet room with a blank wall an' no distractions, er somethin' like that. So I said, "Mt. Reikaku," an' now we're, I guess."

Kouji, back in his seat, sighed and stood up, then dusted himself off. "Well, I gotta admit, I'm hurt that ya came ta do some spell shit an' not ta see me. But since I'm such a better friend than ya, I'll let ya have one o' tha rooms tonight. On one condition."

Tasuki, with an expression on his face that showed that he had been hurt by Kouji's words, stood up as well. He then hung his head in shame and replied, "Yer right, I shoulda came ta see ya too. But what is tha condition?"

"Ok, two conditions."

Annoyed, Tasuki asked again, "What is tha _two_ conditions?"

"One: Next time ya come, it's gotta be ta visit an' nothin' else. Okay, three conditions." Tasuki growled and then Kouji quickly continued, "Two: Ya gotta come again soon. And three: Don't feel bad, I was just jokin!"

Tasuki pulled out his fan and started chasing Kouji around the room, the both of them laughing.

_They are just like little kids no da. _Chichiri shook his head and chuckled, then set off to explore the headquarters, leaving the immature bandits to their little game of tag.

Still, none of them knew about their stalker, who just happened to be lurking in the shade of the headquarters...

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Authors notes:

DUNT DUNT DUNUNUNUNUNUNUNUN...

whatever

Nuriko will be in this story in later chapters, I PROMISE. you cant have a story with tasuki and chichiri but no Nuriko! that's just wrong...

ok well i guess you can...but still...


	2. Nuriko 'n' Tasuki

disclaimer: see ch1

SD means super deformed, by the way

I used the same names for Tasuki's sisters as I did in the other story, but Lea is not in love with him in this one. And his parents are actually in this one. Also, Tasuki hates milk, because when he was young he claimed to have been smothered by his mother's huge breasts, apparently. So whatever. I put a refrence of that in here, cuz I was bored...

--------------

The next morning, while Chichiri was preparing for the spell (and by preparing, I mean meditating), Tasuki and Kouji were trying to get rid of their massive hangover's by drinking tea and resting.

"Sorry 'bout what I said last night, 'bout you an' bird head bein' together," Kouji said, resulting in SD Chichiri popping up and scaring the crap out of him.

"Why are you so mean no da?" His hand ran across his three-foot-high-hair, "I do not look like a bird no da! Well, I'm ready, are we going to do this or not Tasuki?"

"Ya, ya, ya, come on." He followed Chichiri into the room they had been waiting outside of. Kouji chuckled.

Inside the room, Tasuki was staring at the wall, waiting for Chichiri to start the spell. Sure enough, the wall rippled and then turned into, well, a giant view of Tasuki's living room.

"AH! LOOK!" A elderly female shouted, pointing at the wall. "It's Tasuki-sama and Chichiri-sama. When did that happen?"

"Oi, your right, it is!" A man walked around the corner, followed by five women.

"Hey everyone! Do ya know who this young man is?" Kouji placed his hand on Tasuki's head and ruffled his hair, resulting in Tasuki's fist colliding with his own head.

"Well, sure. Everyone knows who he is. He's the Suzaku Seishi known as Tasuki," One of the women said with her hands on her hips.

"Hahaha, Kai, ya never learn do ya. Ok, let's play a game. I know who all of ya er, so who am I? Kai, Lea, Koura, Kourin, and Aidou." Tasuki smiled, making sure to show his fangs well.

The seven people in the opposite room just stared at the strange seishi with confused looks on their faces.

_He looks so familiar...Orange hair...stupid fanged smile..._

"Shun'u," Kai whispered quietly. "It's Shun'u!" This time much louder, followed by suprised gasps all around the room and Tasuki sticking out his tounge while saying, "Duh!"

"Yep. Shun'u. Just look at his hair. And his teeth. Not to mention the bad-ass attitude," Lea this time. "But I thought you were dead!"

"Yeah, bandits kidnapped you and robbed you and killed you!"-Koura

"How could the seishi play such a cruel trick on us?" Kourin buried her head in her hands.

"Ouch," Kouji got up and rubbed his head, then noticed Tasuki staring at the screen, listening to angry shouts about, 'A cruel trick', and 'Shun'u is dead".

"Ya know, now I member why I ran away," Tasuki told Kouji, just loud enough so his family could hear. He then crossed his arms and stared at his family. "I'm not dead. I'm right here in front of ya. I'm a seishi now. I ran away. Cuz ya all suck. Nobody believed me, nobody listened to me, everybody picked on me." He rolled his eyes and threw his hands up in the air, to let them land behind his head. "An' it's still the same. Nobody believes me. I wasn't kidnapped, either, just ask Kouji here. Like I said, I ran away. An' I _joined _tha bandits. I'm tha leader of tha group now. An' here's something I bet ya never knew while I lived here-" Tasuki pulled up his shirt sleeve and showed his wide-eyed family the kanji on his arm. "I'm a seishi, like I said. I've always been a seishi. But apparently, none of ya have noticed that. Now, I guess I should go back ta protectin' tha Miko. Cuz that's what I do now. So Chichiri-"

"Wait, I know my baby boy," The bandit's mother stated. "And if you really are who you say you are, then tell me 'Son'. How do you feel about milk?"

Kouji burst out laughing.

Tasuki make a face showing genuine disgust, crossed eyes and everything. "I hate it," He set his hands on his hipe and stuck out his tounge. "An' it's all yer fault," One of his hands lifted from his hips and pointed towards the mother, "Cuz ya always suffocated me with yer damn big 'equipment'!" Again, Kouji was laughing aloud.

Tasuki's mom started to tear up, "It's really my baby boy. He's back, after all these years."

"So then it is Shun'u?" Koura had a confused look on her face.

"Duh," came Tasuki's reply. Again his arms were crossed, "So, I was thinkin' of comin' home fer a visit, does that sound ok ta ya?" When he got no reply, he smiled, "Good, then I'll be there tomorrow. Bye now. Chichiri?"

The stalker finally couldn't take it anymore and joined Kouji, who was still laughing. Heads turned and everybody saw it was Tamahome.

"Tamahome? What er ya doin' here?" Tasuki asked, having forgotten that Chichiri hadn't broke the spell yet.

"I came to see what you guys were up to. You're so nice, finally talking to your family after, what has it been? 3, 4 Years, maybe? What, you're one year younger than me..." Tamahome shrugged his shoulders. "Anyway, there's a few things you forgot to tell them."

Tasuki rolled his eyes and made a 'pfft' sound, "Like what?"

"Like your girlfriend, you didn't even mention her."

"What er ya talkin' 'bout? Ya know I don't gotta-"

"Oh my Gods, Shun'u doesn't have a girlfriend yet? What a baby," Lea teased.

"N-yeah, of course I have a girlfriend. An' she's beautiful too," The bandit remarked, once again, his arms folded.

"Prove it. Bring her tomorrow," Lea said, with just as much attittude as Tasuki had.

Tamahome set his hand on Tasuki's shoulder, "Tasuki, my old friend. My work here is done. See you at the palace." With that he walked out the door and left.

"Tasuki no da?"

"Huh?"

"I can't keep this spell up much longer no da. So could you please hurry no da?" Chichiri's face was bright red.

Tasuki turned back to the wall, "Fine, I'll bring 'er by tomorrow. Now, Chiri here is gettin' tired of listnen' ta us fight, so I'm gonna have ta let ya go right now."

-----------Back at the palace

"REKKA SHINEN!" Tasuki was chasing Tamahome around the palace, which was much harder for the latter, seeing as how _his _power was not super speed.

"I'M GONNA KILL YA! I'M GONNA KILL YA!"

"GOMEN GOMEN GOMEN TASUKI! I THOUGHT I WAS HELPING!" Tamahome lied.

"Oh really? Well who tha hell am I gonna get ta be my girlfriend by tomorrow? Tha only girls I know er Miaka an' Houki! Well, an' my sisters an' my mom."

Tasuki had finally stopped running, giving Tamahome a chance to breathe. "Well, I _do _have a few suggestions...but you'd have to go to extreme measures."

"Whatever who is it?"

"Well, for one, you could try and talk Chichiri, and get him to turn himself into a girl for a few days."

"Heh, don't think so. Next."

"I would suggest Hotohori, I bet he would do it if they call him beautiful. Of course you'd need to change his voice. And talk Houki into letting him. I'm not sure how she would feel knowing her husband is out pretending to be someone's girlfriend."

"He has too much ta do already. Do ya have any female suggestions?"

"I think you and I both know the next one," Tamahome stated.

"Lemme guess. Nuriko? And ya ain't got anymore?"

"Bingo."

Once again, Tasuki started chasing Tamahome around the palace screaming, "I'M GONNA KILL YA!"

Later that night, as in, after dinner, Tasuki followed Nuriko into his room.

"Uh, Nuriko?"

"Hai?"

"Um, I know this is short notice an' all, but could ya do me a tiny favor?"

"Depends. What is it?"

"Uh, could ya come ta my parent's house with me an' pretend ta be my um, my girlfriend?"

"No."

"Please? I already asked Chichiri an' he said no, an' I would ask Hotohori, but he's tha emperor an' Houki would kill me if he had ta be my girlfriend! Besides, ya had eight years of experience as a girl!"

"I don't crossdress anymore, remember?"

"Please? Pretty please? Pretty please with sake on top?"

"Well, I might consider it, if I knew what was in it for me."

"Um, ya'll get tha chance to meet five beautiful single women?"

"As a girl."

"Yeah, but-"

"Fine. But not for you. It's only because I have nothing better to do."


	3. Family

disclaimer: I don't own anything in this story, except Li'an and Pa'liu.

I decided that I have not given Tasuki all that much of an accent, so I'm trying to step it up a notch. Tell me if ya think it's too much.

---------------The Next Morning...

"Tasuki, dear?" Nuriko teased, rubbing his hand gently against the side of Tasuki's face.

Through clenched teeth came the reply, "Yeah?"

Nuriko was wearing a hot-pink kimono with embroidered flowers, and his long violet hair was up in a bun. "How long will we be at your house?"

"Depends. Nothin' long'r 'n a month, though. Ya ready ta leave yet?" Tasuki stood up straight and gave a sigh of relief, having just tied an exceptionally hard knot in his clothing bag.

"_I_, have been ready for a while. _You_, on the other hand, just _had_ to pack every single outfit to your name, your precious jewelry, and you _had_ to give long, sappy good-bye's to everyone here."

Tying the heavy clothing bag to his waist, next to his tessen, the man in question shot back, "Well ya jest _had_ ta go an' get all dressed up."

Nuriko scrunched his facial features together, "Suzaku, we're acting just like a married couple."

Tasuki mimicked his friend, "Really? 'Cuz I always jest thought that Tama an' Miaka acted like a married couple."

"Tasuki..."

"Nuriko..."

"Tasuki..."

Both men burst out laughing at their pathetic attempt to sound like those two. After they calmed down, Nuriko spoke up. "You do know that your gonna have to call me Kourin, right?"

"Howcome?"

"Because everybody knows who the seishi are. I don't look that different dressed as a girl, and if you call me Nuriko people will recognize me."

Tasuki waved his hand as if to say 'who cares?', but he actually said, "Fine. Whatever. C'n we leave now?"

-----------

On the way there, Tasuki was growing impatient. At first it was just a fast walk, but now he was jogging. And jogging for Tasuki meant huffing and puffing for Nuriko.

"Tasuki, I can't keep up with you for much longer. Could you at least carry me if you're gonna run, or even jog?"

Tasuki spun on his heel and shouted, "Hell no! You carry me, you have the super strength!"

"And that's another thing-I can't use my strength or people might recognize me. But you can use your speed," Nuriko pointed out.

"So...?"

"So if you run, I will still be all the way back here while you're at the house. Besides, are you really so weak that you can't carry a girl?" He batted his abnormally long eyelashes.

"I'm not gonna carry ya," The bandit did slow down, however. After about ten minutes of walking at Nuriko's pace, he quickly scooped up the latter and started running. "Damn, did ya know that yer light'r 'n Miaka?"

"I'm gonna take that as a compliment," Nuriko said a little shakily, for he was being bobbed up and down as Tasuki ran. Much to the duo's relief, they arrived at a small house within the minute.

Nuriko, being a professional spy, noticed two people watching them from the bushes. _What a great chance to mess with Tasuki's head..._The seishi rested his purple head comfortably against Tasuki's chest and wrapped his arms around his neck. "Carry me inside," He whispered, eyes closed and denying himself the urge to laugh.

"Do ya want me ta drop ya on yer ass?" Tasuki obligated, obviously oblivious to their observer. (A/N: Sorry I couldn't help myself.)

"No, but don't we need to actually act like a couple?" Nuriko didn't open his eyes or look up from his spot. Tasuki hesitated, but nonetheless he opened the door, still carrying his 'girlfriend'.

"We're here," He shouted, cautiously walking in.

"Well, nobody else is. They didn't expect you to be home untill later so they went shopping," A voice from behind stated, causing Tasuki to suddenly turn and face two young girls, no older than seventeen, standing in the doorway. Nuriko didn't move, and Tasuki began to wonder if he was asleep. "They should be home soon though," The same girl said, studying her nails. "So, Shun'u, right? Or do you prefer to be called Tasuki?"

The bandit started in awe, still confused as to who the girls were, which became evident when he asked them.

"Well," The first girl smiled, "I am Li'an, and this," She gestured towards her companion, "Is Pa'liu. She's our neighbor."

"Our...?"

"Yeah. Oh, I forgot to tell you, I'm your sister too. Kinda, anyway," Nuriko still acted as if he was asleep, but he knew the look that was on Tasuki's face right now without even needing to open his eyes. That was when the rest of the family came in through the door.

"Oh, Shun'u, you're here already?" His father asked, setting his bag of groceries on the counter. "Oh, Li'an, you're home too. Pa'liu, are you spending the night again?"

The girl known as Pa'liu let her eyes fall from Tasuki and nodded her head. "Is that alright?"

"Of course it is," Tasuki's mother wiped her hands. "Honey, how did you get here so soon? We weren't expecting you for at least another hour."

Tasuki just stared for a minute, then snapped back. "Oh-uh, yeah, Nu-I mean-Kourin went to sleep so I jest carried...her...here."

"Kiss me on the forehead and lay me down," Nuriko whispered so that only Tasuki could hear. Tasuki did as he was told, kissing Nuriko on the forehead and quietly asking, "C'n I lay 'er down somewhere? She's jest so tired."

"Um, yeah. We got your bedroom ready so just lay her in there. You remember where it is, right?"

He gestured with his head towards his own old room and started heading in that direction. When the bandit bent over to lay Nuriko down on the bed, the man started to whisper again, "Don't look, but she's still watching you, behind the door."

He looked around, careful not to look directly at Li'an, who in fact was hiding behind the door. After catching glimpse of this, gently Tasuki let go of his friend and began akwardly stroking his face, then walked away. At the doorway he stopped and purposly leaned hard against the door, acting as though admiring Nuriko/Kourin's beauty from afar.


	4. A Ridiculously Large Squirrel

**Disclaimer: Let's get real here, ok? If I owned Fushigi Yuugi I would not be writing fanfictions. And the boys would have their shirts off more often. And Miaka would've ditched Tamahome for Tasuki sometime within episodes 20-30. **

I feel like I've been using too many pronouns and commas in my stories so I'm probably gonna call Tasuki by his nickname (Genrou) and his given name (Shun'u) a few times, along with traditional Tasuki.

---------------------------------

Later that night, Nuriko decided to 'wake up' just in time for dinner. The whole time everybody just talked and laughed, they even had Pa'liu's family over to celebrate. At one point Kai decided that it was ok to make fun of Tasuki for the big list of stuff they used to, consisting of hair, fangs, disability to swim, etc. Big mistake there. He smacked her across the head so hard that everyone was sure she would be braindead for at least a week. While she stumbled towards the bathroom she said something along the lines of, "...Ouch..." Although we can't be sure because her speech was so slurred. The poor woman wasn't seen for the rest of the night.

"So, Kourin, right?" Koura asked Nuriko, who nodded his head in return. "You're very pretty-" She was about to make a joke about how she never thought Shun'u could get someone as pretty as Nuriko, but glancing at her sister's deserted chair she decided better of it.

"I know. I'm told that all the time. Especially by my Tasuki-waski-poo," Nuriko poked the fiercly blushing bandit on the nose playfully and giggled in a girly fashion. To make it look like he had actually slept, his long violet hair hung at full length instead of in a tight bun.

Tasuki's first instinct to this affectionate gesture was to smack Nuriko on the back of his head with the tessen, but his second instinct was to play along. Thankfully, he just went with the second instinct. "That's 'cuz ya are _baby_."

"Tasuki..."

"N-Kourin..."

"Tasuki..."

Again, both men started to laugh out loud, while everybody else looked confused and, well, slightly uneasy.

"No, wait, I don't get it, what's so funny?" Tasuki's sister Kourin asked, scratching her head.

Slowly but surely, the laughing ceased. Nuriko waved a dismissing hand and reaching for a dinner roll explained, "Ah, it's just a little inside joke."

"Well, could you let us in on it?" She asked again, moving her head in a way that someone might while saying 'Thanks for stating the obvious'.

"I s'pose, if ya wanted," Now the bandit scratched his head and shrugged, signaling for Nuriko to explain.

"And howcome _you_ live at the palace Lady Kourin? After all, _you're_ not a Seishi or a servant, so we've heard from Shun'u." Pa'liu inquired.

"Uh, becau-"

"Cuz she stays with me o' course! Emperor Sahieti agreed ta lettin' 'er in so long as we ain't _too_ noisy while everyone else's sleepin'," Tasuki lied while nudging his comrade in the arm and ignoring his glare that somehow managed to look evil, amused, and proud all at once.

"Yep. So we're just really really quiet," Nuriko concluded, quite enjoying teasing Tasuki's family.

Desperatly trying to change the subject, Tasuki's mother (A/N: I think I'll call her...Mai..hehe) clapped her hands together and Tasuki braced himself for another butload of questions. "So, Shun'u. What name do you go by these days?"

Tasuki rolled his eyes and smacked himself on the forehead, "Are ya fuckin' kiddin' me? Ta-su-ki. An' ta my special friend Kouji an' all tha bandits, it's Genrou. But _only_ ta 'em."

"-Ahem- Ok. _Tasuki_. Not to sound rude or anything, but where did you learn such language?"

"Duh! I been growin' up with bandits fer tha past few years. I'm tha lead'r now, by tha way," The flame-haired bandit was starting to get fed up and he didn't know why.

"I see, well, could you try to, well, um, stop-talking like that? After all, there are minor's here," His mother again looked slightly uneasy.

"Oh, like who?" Tasuki asked, having forgot about Li'an and Pa'liu. For that matter, he had also forgotten that another family was there besides his own.

Everybody turned to face Li'an and Pa'liu, causing Nuriko to blush for some reason. The rest of the meal was eaten in silence.

---------------------

Nuriko decided to retire to bed early again. Actually, he stayed up reading. Tasuki did the opposite; he went to a bar. It wasn't untill midnight that Nuriko, still wide awake, heard the front door open and close. Within a few seconds Tasuki barged into the room, wide-eyed and a deep shade of red. "Hello," Nuriko greeted with some curiosity as to why his friend was dark red. Tasuki grumbled his unintelligible reply. Slightly amused, Nuriko set his book down and asked,"What's wrong?"

"AffinxImrudunkergin," The bandit was swaying back and forth and hiccuping. After about thirty seconds Nuriko deciphered what had been said as 'I think I'm real drunk again'. Rolling his eyes, the purple haired seishi got up and guided his friend into the kitchen. He then took a variety of herbs from the pantry and began making some sort of drink, which he gave to the-still-swaying-and-hiccuping-Tasuki. After gulping it down, the latter turned nearly as purple as his friend's hair and started...tossing his cookies. And lots of alchohol, too. "That fuckin' tasted like shit! What was it?" He asked, not realizing that he could talk straight again.

"It's a special medicine. It cures drunkedness," Nuriko stated matter-of-factly.

"Well, what if I like bein' drunk?" Tasuki stubbornly crossed his arms. Nuriko placed a hand on his friend's shoulder. "I'm sure you do. But you can't risk it. You're very honest when you're drunk, you know that?"

"Yeah...and...?" The bandit asked, taking care to say the 'D' at the end of 'And', which Nuriko found weird. "Yeah...and...if you're drunk you might accidentally tell everyone that I'm really a-" There was a rustling in the nearby bushes. Nuriko smacked a hand to his own forehead and whispered, "Shit. It's Li'an."

"Oh! That yer actually a...sister...of my friend...Nuriko?" Tasuki saved. His purple-haired-companion had a 'you're crazy' look on his face at first, then he leaned in and hugged Tasuki and said aloud, "Exactly. And he would hate you forever if he found out that we're going together in public without his permission, right?" He then whispered so only his friend could hear, "Wow. You're on a roll today, aren't you? Two saves."

"Yup," The bandit replied, glaring into the horizon. Nuriko, arms still wrapped around the younger seishi, buried his face in his companion's chest and smiled. Tasuki was like a little brother to him, so it naturally made him proud when his little brother picked up special abilities the same as his own, example: Coming up with believable lies off the top of his head. Mostly caught up in the moment, part acting, and a bit of who knows what, Tasuki lifted Nuriko's head and kissed him.

That was when a ridiculously large squirrel hopped out of the bushes.


	5. Ciao!

**Disclaimer: Look in the first chapters. **

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As soon as the two men realized exactly who it was that they were kissing, they both fell back and screamed at the same time. Hearing the screams, Kai ran out seconds later. "Doshta no?! Daijoubu ka?!" (What's wrong? Are you ok?!) **(I bet I spelled doshta wrong) **

Nuriko clambered up and glared at Tasuki. "Yeah. We're fine." After a pause, he added, "There was just a giant squirrel."

He stared as his redhead companion grumbled, "Jest peachy," spit, and walked inside, casting one more glare at Nuriko in the process.

Kai, trying to be understanding, turned to Nuriko and asked sympathetically, "Relationship problems?" Nuriko ignored the question and went inside as well. Left standing outside, alone, in the middle of the night, Kai sweatdropped. "What was _that_ about?" She wondered aloud, then ran inside as well, where she found Tasuki seated cross-legged on the ground and Nuriko all the way across the room, _still_ glaring at eachother. Trying desperately to break the silence, she spoke up. "Yeah, that giant squirrel has been bugging us ever since the night you two got here, don't worry about it, really!" She flashed the peace sign and grinned, but neither Tasuki nor Nuriko aknowledged this. After a few moments of akward silence, she couldn't take it anymore and stomped her foot. "What the _hell_ is going on in here?!" She hissed, not wanting to wake any of the others up. Almost immediately, she got the same response from both of her companions-

"He kissed me!"

Kai just stared into the distance, one eyebrow raised, while Tasuki and Nuriko shouted stuff like "No! You did it!" or "Fuck you! Liar!"

"_He_?" She whispered to herself.

"Well I sure as hell didn't start it!"

"Blah blah blah, I can't hear you!"

"I didn't!"

"Yeah, you freaking leaned in!"

"Did-"

"Shut up! Both of you, shut up, shut up, shut up, open down, whatever!" The brunette shouted. When her companions remembered she was there and turned to face her, she narrowed her eyes and put her hands on her hips, then asked, louder this time, "_HE_?"

Nuriko blinked, trying to think of something to say, then an evil grin suddenly appeared on his lips. His eyes teasing, he turned to look at Tasuki, who went wide-eyed and slowly mouthed the word 'NO'. After a few seconds, the purple haired seishi turned back to face the confuzzled woman.

"That's right. HE. I don't think you knew this, but...Tasuki here is a man."

The flame-haired bandit jumped up and screamed, "NANI?! AN' YA NEVER TOLD-oh. ...Nevermind..." He plopped back down and buried his red face in his hands. After a small, very, very akward silence, he lifted his face again and bore a fanged grin. "It's true. I 'ave proof, if ya don't b'lieve 'im." Nuriko turned abruptly and stared wide eyed and his CLEARLY retarted friend. Kai did the same.

The purple haired seishi put his hands on his hips, closed his eyes, and sighed, "You are brilliant. Absolutely FREAKING brilliant."

Kai looked back and forth between her blushing brother and her blushing brother's blushing girlfriend, very confuzzled. Suddenly, she understood. Or at least, she thought she did.

"Eew. I'm going back to bed." When she walked into her room, she faced them one more time. "Eew." She quickly closed the door.

Ten minutes later, Tasuki had passed out, Nuriko was packing, and everybody else was sleeping-except Li'an, who was still giggling like crazy.

-------- **(You people are lucky...I was gonna just cut it off right here! I wanted to find out what's gonna happen next though, so I kept going. Hey, ya gotta love Tasuki's stupidity, ne?)**

Tasuki woke up to a huge hangover and an empty bed. He immediately knew what was going on, despite his head, and bolted out the door as fast as he could, to find Nuriko on his way to the palace.

"Dude! Whatcha doin'?! Ya can't leave yet!" Nuriko spun around, just in time to be pummeled in the stomach by a big orange thick round thing, causing both Nuriko and the owner of the big orange thick round thing (read: Tasuki's head) to fall to the ground.

Gasping for air, Nuriko choked out, "Why not?"

"Why so?" Taken aback by his friend's semi-witty retortion, the purple haired seishi defended himself.

"Well gee, Tasuki, let's think about this for a moment. Kai knows I'm a dude. Soon, EVERYONE will know I'm a dude. Then, EVERYONE will think I've gone back to being gay." Tasuki blinked. "You too, Tasuki. They will think you're gay too."

He blinked again. "It ain't like there ain't people who already think I'm gay. So long as it's nobody I gotta talk ta, I dun give a shit."

Nuriko sighed. "My rep's already pretty beat up. I gotta leave before someone recognizes who I really am."

The bandit went back to un-calm. "Please don't leave me here alone with them!" He was on his knees with his hands clasped.

His friend smirked. "You come back too. Nobody has to know. C'mon." He tried to pull Tasuki along with him, but the redhead resisted.

"Pretty pretty please? I'll do anythin'! Just stay here!"

Nuriko laughed humorlessly. "Anything, ne? I'll save that. For now, just give me five good reasons."

Tasuki started listing them immediately. "Cuz I'm stupid when I'm drunk an' I'm even more stupid when I'm sober an' I'm smart...ish when I got a hangover an' I'm really really really sorry even though I can't exactly remember what I did wrong an' my head hurts really really bad an' I can't think-a anything else ta say an' now I can an' I jest got out-a bed a few minutes ago an' now I'm hyper an' I can't face my family alone now an' yer in this way too deep ta be a chicken an' back out an' I can't breathe an' apparently I can't count right either cuz ya only asked fer five reasons an' I gave ya like forty-thousand an' I don't think your anti-drunkeness crap worked an'...an'...an' my head hurts really really really bad! Please help!" He gasped for air.

_Umm...He said that all in one breath. Creepy._ **(Seriously...Try saying that without breathing. I tried and had to stop at 'anti-drunkeness crap'.) **Nuriko shook the disturbed look off his face and smiled. "First of all: You said _way_ more than five things. Second of all: Most of those made _absolutely no_ sense. And third of all: Did you come get me with a hangover?" The bandit sadly nodded his head and whimpered, and Nuriko straight out laughed at the look on his face. "So, the medicine didn't work you say?"

"No! I've always been immune ta shit like th-" He suddenly clutched his head, and in the blink of an eye, he was lying on the ground, out cold.

_He was probably thinking too much. Dammit,_ Nuriko thought as he hoisted the snoring bandit onto his shoulders and started heading back to the house.

-------- **(Ne! Should I stop or not? God...-Ten minutes later- I'll keep on going. But only cuz...ne, I got nothin. Jest read.)**

Everybody was astonished when Nuriko pounded in the front door, wearing men's clothers, with his readhead friend draped across his shoulders like it was nothing. The only sound was Tasuki's loud snoring as the strong seishi walked into his companion's room to lay him down. He then walked back into the living room, where nobody had moved a muscle.

"What? It's not polite to stare," He stated casually, rubbing his hands together. Aidou pointed a shaky finger and asked, "Kourin?!"

Nuriko grinned. _I sooo saw this coming._ "Nope. Hi. I'm Nuriko," He held out his arm. Tasuki's sister cautiosly shook it and asked, "Uh-huh. And you're here because...?"

Li'an spoke up. "You serisously haven't figured it out yet? Wow." She paused, as if waiting for someone to prove her wrong. "Ok, then I'll explain it. Shun'u doesn't _really_ have a girlfriend, so he asked Nuriko-sama, who is also a seishi, to pretend to be his girlfriend, because Nuriko-sama used to be a gay-ass crossdresser." She looked thoughtful. "Well, that or they were just embarrassed. Either way, I gotta give you guys props for creativity."

Everybody stared at her. Another long silence. (they seem to happen alot in this story, don't they?)

"Gay-ass crossdresser? Wow. I didn't know my rep was _that_ bad." Nuriko blinked and started tightening his sash. "...No. Actually, I'm here because Tasuki kept getting _drunk_ and calling her a _dude_ so she came back to the palace _crying_ and I was gonna confront that _moron_ but he had a hangover and passed out. Now, if you'll excuse me-"

"No! No no no! I-you-but...You liar! Where is Kourin then? Answer that, Mr. Smart ass!" Li'an put her hands on her hips, and Nuriko did the same.

"She's still at the palace. That's one of the reasons I gotta go back. I gotta talk her into coming here again. Tasuki may be a complete and total MORON, but he's the best thing that's ever happened to her, and they can't let something stupid like Tasuki being drunk...being _constantly_ drunk...ruin their relationship. Hell, cookie's gonna hafta get used to him being drunk _at least_ once a week, maybe even more, especially if they're gonna get married..." He shrugged it off. "Well, I gotta go now. Ciao!" The purple haired seishi smiled warmly and walked out the door backwards, flashing the peace sign and puffing out his chest proudly.

Everybody stared at Li'an, and Pa'liu burst out laughing.

-------

**Wow! Finally updated! I bet some of you completely forgot about this story, ne? I have to say, Tasuki's Girlfriend, There's a Seiryu in my Living Room and Meet My Parents are my favorite stories of mine. Check out There's a Seiryu in my Living Room, because it's gonna be freaking awesome soon...you can seriously skip the entire first chapter and honestly not miss anything, too. XD That's what I would suggest doing, anyway.**

**I'm gonna go ahead and smack myself about, ne, THIRTY THOUSAND TIMES for no reason. Ciao! -walks out door backwards while flashing peace sign. yay!-**

Ne, while you're down here, why don't you review? I have anonymous reviews enabled now, btw, so you can leave an...anonymous review now.


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